Monday, February 4, 2013

Twenty Years and I Haven't Killed Him...Yet

Yesterday was my 20th wedding anniversary. We got married on a Wednesday evening at church service. No one was supposed to know, but somehow between Monday's blood test, and Tuesday at the courthouse getting the license, everyone found out and showed up.  It was not a big wedding at all and had zero planning. I was eight months pregnant, BTW. We tried to tell ourselves and everyone else that we did not get married because of the baby, but looking back it, we know better.  However, he was 20, I was 18, and let's face it, there is NO SUCH animal as true love at those ages. It took a long time for us to grow up. We almost called it quits several times early on.  Between being so young, taking on grownup responsibilities so soon, and Army life, we just screwed a lot of things up. Honestly, I don't think true, strong love happened for us till about 16 years or so into this marriage. People are retarded, and we do not bond the precious, perfect way that animals do, such as swans, eagles, RABBITS.  We have to fall on our faces and our asses a few times before we get it.
SO...two wonderful boys, several miscarriages, thinner, fatter, sicker, healthier, sad, happy, murderous and joyful, a couple of dogs, a few cats, three rabbits and one spoiled rotten chihuahua later, we have  gotten to the point where we like each other's in-laws, finish each other's sentences, know exactly how the other one feels and thinks, and I always know what he wants for dinner, even if I don't make it. It is a little creepy.
I have called him ten thousand foul names in 20+ years, but you know, he has never called me a bitch. Not once.

Sweet Lord, were we really this young? He is 21 and I am 19 here.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Taste This Pickle

"Taste this." She shook a limp pickle spear at his face.
"Ma'am, I'm not going to taste that pickle."
"Where's your manager, you rude young man? These pickles have gone bad. They've lost their sour."
He wiped his glasses and looked at the jar.
"Those'r bread and butter pickles."
"The nerve, selling me bad pickles!"



The inspiration for this 55 comes from a jar of Mt. Olive Baby Kosher Dill pickles that I picked up at Wal Mart. I have been craving the Mt. Olive Kosher Baby Dills with Texas Pete chilies.


I picked up the wrong jar, which was OK. But I took a bite into my pickle and...nothing...it had lost its sour. It has lost that awesome dill pickle flavor that I LOVE. I shook my half eaten baby dill at my husband and said "taste this".  He said, " I am not tasting your pickle".  Pickle lovers, beware! You might just get a jar of bad pickles! And you know, when you NEED a pickle, that can be devastating. How the hell am I supposed to eat a tuna sandwich without a pickle? 
Hmph. First World problems, right...
Look at my side bar there...to the right...see...The Popcorn Fharmacy here in Oklahoma City has a fantastic selection of flavored popcorn. I recommend their Dill Pickle flavored popcorn HIGHLY. They will ship an order, so click on the link and get you a yummy bagful of their mmm mmm good dill pickle popcorn. I also recommend their Vanilla Butternut and Butter Rum! Now I am making myself crave popcorn.

Thank you, G-Man, for being a most excellent Friday Flash Fiction 55 host! xoxoxo, (pickle breath and all!)


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

As long as the wind blows, the grass grows and the water flows

 As Long as The Wind Blows....




...The Grass Grows...




...And the Water Flows...



My mother-in-law and I went to Carnegie, OK today to take care of some business at the Kiowa Tribal Complex.  We decided to take a side trip to Saddle Mountain and check on the property her grandparents used to own and where she grew up.


The creek had flooded, causing the water to flatten the grasses. This is Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.  The weather in Oklahoma City was stormy when we left, but by the time we outran the rain, Carnegie was sunny and warm with a nice gentle breeze. But, this IS Oklahoma...The saying is, "if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes". By the time we took some back-roads to Saddle Mt, the wind was picking up and the temperature dropped. 

The property has been abandoned for while, it needs restoring. And thankfully the weather was still cool enough to keep the snakes in their hidey holes. The grasses are THICK and padded, and TALL, so I did not want to worry about tangling with a snake. The rattlers LOVE hot weather, so I was not worried about them, I was worried about cottonmouths (water moccasins) . Rattlers warn you, cottonmouths come AT YOU. 

This property was an allotment given by the government when they deeded land to the Kiowas. 

I gathered fallen branches and assorted wild grasses for my bunnies. The whole time, I am looking for cottontails. I found none. I did find evidence of a giant bunny...

GIANT Cecotropes...Just kidding. It's probably scat from some varmint. But it DOES look like a giant cecal cluster, right?

Saddle Mountain Baptist Church (trailer), butts up against the Kiowa Tribal cemetery. By the time we got there, which is about 1/2 a mile up the road from the house, the wind was trying to blow us to OZ and we were freezing!  See that little white bowl almost center of the picture? Under that cluster of weeds is a rabbit warren/den.  It's been there for years. It is nice to see they leave water out for the bunnies!

Found some bleached bones and brought them home for my son. You know boys...I believe they are from a deer, but it could have been a big dog. I am ALMOST CERTAIN (pretty certain...) that they are NOT human! Joshua says I be haunted for sure if they ARE human. My husband was joking with Josh about going  with me and his grandmother to Cutthroat Gap, a place where his relatives were slaughtered, beheaded and their heads put into their water buckets. It is supposed to be haunted. Joshua asked WHY he would want to go to such a place and his dad told him, in his best faked Indian (Native American) accent "To gather Medicine". Sheesh...So...if these bones are human, oh what "medicine" that would be! When my husband's great grandfather Walter became a Christian, he took his "medicine" (his assortment of things, for lack of a better word, 'magical') and buried them in an unknown location.  He was worried about the consequences of any of it getting into the wrong hands. Now THAT has to tell you something! What? Don't mess with the supernatural!

These hills are a part of the Wichita Mountain Range in Southwest Oklahoma, Fort Sill area. 



Lots of these wind turbines all over these hills. 

Grass grass grass, wild wheat, etc. 

Mesquite branches, wild wheat and other wild grasses from the property, picked and served up to happy bunnies. Minnie ate some, then she got great big mouthfuls to carry around. She does that. She is weird. She sure loved the branches!


The bright green in the bowl is Sherwood Forest Natural Rabbit Food. It is VERY green and smells like tea!



Dem Bones Dem Bones Dem Dry Bones...

I couldn't catch them, they were so fast, but Joshua was holding that bone in the pen, and they were going nuts, trying to nibble and bite it and drag it out of his hand.

Dem bones dem bones dem dry bones...

...Now hear the word of the Lord!!!

Oh, man, I DO hope those are NOT human bones! And NO, I only put them in there for the picture. They DID want to keep them, though. Silleh Ebil Bunnehs!

As long as the wind blows, the grass grows and water flows, I will love Rabbits.  I even realized that I want my grave marker to be a rabbit! 


Saturday, January 26, 2013

Hippity Hoppity Easter's On It....ZOMBIES! (fixed)

UPDATED: I "paraphrased" ZOMBUNNY'S potty mouth statement!!!! 

Great Lent is upon us. This means Easter is not far off. We bunny nuts know what that means. It means that shelters, rescues, and ditches will be overrun with bunnies that are not so cute as the day they were given to some snot nosed kid for a gift. It means baby bunnies who have outlived their five minutes of ooh and ah and cuteness will be chewing on their hutch and cage bars, destroying wires and cords, pooping everywhere, scratching the shit out of furniture and people, and eating eating eating. It means they will be inconvenient little  toss-away creatures that no one cares about anymore. 
Campaigns like Make Mine Chocolate do their best to get the word out that bunnies make for bad gifts, that they are not toys, but real, sentient, willful, living, breathing creatures that require a lot of care and love. Yet every Easter, more and more rabbits are BRED and SOLD specifically for Easter gift-giving. 
I think we Rabbit lovers need to get a little more militant, a little more guerrilla, in our tactics. Let's stop being so damned nice and politic about the truth.  
I love the work by an artist named Byron Rempel. Check out his blog here.   When I commented to him on Google Plus that he needed to have a bunny zombie, he sent his blog link for Zombie Easter Bunny. Does this kick ass or what?! IF ONLY this awesome bunny could hippity hoppity down the bunny trail at Easter, I think we could make some headway in the Make Mine Chocolate campaign!  Chocolate bunnies don't bite back when you nibble on their ears!



Zombunny says "MAKE YOURS CHOCOLATE, MEATBAGS!"


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - 'C' Words

"You know what you are?"
"I'm sure you'll tell me." She replied with a perfectly applied red Chanel sneer. 
"Starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T'. Care to guess?" His whiskey and cigarettes filled her nostrils, making her hate him more.
"Cat?" 
"Close enough." And he kissed her again.



Merci to G-Man and many X's and O's (red, of course) for being a splendidly X'able host...




The Old Man

About four years ago, my good friend Maria died after having a heart attack during dialysis. Her children asked if I would like to adopt her black lab, Simon. Of course I said yes. He is officially Joshua's dog, and they are attached at the brain. Josh made me buy him a bigger bed (from twin to queen) so they could both fit on it comfortably. He had no grey hairs on his muzzle when he came to live with us, but he is getting more and more white hairs by the day. Today the cold was really getting to him. I hate seeing him move slower and slower.  He is still playful and will chase after Spider (our cat) and steal toys from Bug (our baby girl chihuahua) and heaven help the SOB who walks up to Josh and tries to play fight him. But the old man is slowing down and it makes me sad.
My two boys, who normally ignore each other, held each other and cried when we had to put Cochino, our old chow mix, down last summer. He was about thirteen years old and incontinent, deaf, blind and in typical chow fashion, getting mean as hell with every passing day. Simon passing will be devastating for Joshua after losing Chino, who had been with us since Josh was a baby.
Simon has been the best dog we ever had. He is protective, sweet, smart, devoted. I should not mourn him yet, though. I just wanted to tell the world that he is a wonderful companion. I cannot say enough about Labrador Retrievers.  You will never go wrong adopting one and making them a part of your family.




Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Almighty Johnsons - Thor is an ASS!

Ok, so I have a HUGE crush on Dean O'Gorman (scroll down), the Kiwi actor who plays Fili in The Hobbit.  That smile kills me. I was watching clips on YouTube of The Almighty Johnsons, the show he stars in as Anders (a sort of god-man-whore-poet), when I got a load of Thor (basically the show is about incarnated Norse gods, strangely enough all happen to be reborn in New Zealand, so...), who is a huge prick. Why? Well, I think that is just his character in the series, however, I think he goes above and beyond your basic every day run of the mill prick-in-a-can. Again, why? He "fucking hate(s) rabbits".


Thor, (Geoffrey Dolan) the rabbit killing, hating peckerhead. Um, his character, not Mr. Dolan himself! Unless he "fucking hate(s) rabbits" in real life...grrrr



Be still my beating heart....THAT DAMNED SMILE!!!

As much as I am crushing on Fili here, there are definitely others crushing harder. I personally would not put up a naked picture of him, even though he has THE cutest butt in the South Pacific, but check out this Tumblr Blog! I have no objections whatsoever to other bloggers putting up naked Dean pics/videos. 

WTF? Tolkien dwarves are not supposed to be HOT! I would have been blissfully ignorant of Dean if not for The Hobbit. Peter Jackson and I are gonna have us a reckoning someday. He's done ruined me...

OK OK OK OK, I got it out of my system. WOO HOO cannot wait til the next two movies come out! 

Oh, yes, I forgot...this blog is about rabbits...nannernanner