He chases aspirin with mescal and waits miserably for the headache and bleeding to stop.
Again the banshee flies at him screeching.
“¡Callate!” he yells, hurling the bottle at her.
“Shut up shut up!” she mocks in English, dodging the projectile worm.
He spots his machete and wonders suddenly if cockatoo tastes anything like chicken.
I want everyone, especially animal lovers, namely bird lovers, chiefly cockatoo lovers, to understand this 55 is a cautionary tale. Yes, I meant it to be a little dark, twisted, and funny. However, as I explained in a previous post comparing birds and rabbits, too many people have stupid and ignorant ideas about what it means to adopt a companion exotic bird. Imagine the next fifty years of your life dealing every day with an ADHD two year old on a perpetual cocaine and gummy bears binge, demanding your constant attention and pitching screaming, screeching, eardrum rupturing fits. These creatures can drive you insane, as you see with our fictional "hero" above. Well, in his case, his gringo wife left him for another man and did not take the bird with her. The beast is an enigma. They both are hurt and confused by the sudden departure of the woman from their lives. The bird is a constant reminder of his ex-wife, and he is a constant reminder of the cockatoos beloved mistress. Their shared misery should draw them closer together, but instead drives them both insane. Now I only have 55 words to tell this complicated tale of love, betrayal and madness! So, it is hoped that with those 55 words, the rest of the story will easily unwind in your head. This 55 flash fiction thing is HARD!!! I mean, gosh golly gee willikers! I write a 55 about a nutty woman poisoning her lover's new neighbor simply because she happens to be pretty and no one bats an eye. Write a 55 about a man taking a machete to a cockatoo and the interwebs would shit a cuckoo clock for sure. This postscript is the explanation to this 55. Enjoy. Or not. But rest assured, no cockatoos, mescal worms, hussy gringo wives, or loco cuckolded Mexicans were harmed in the making of this this story.
Thanks, G-Man, for hosting!