Friday, December 7, 2012

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - The Banshee

He chases aspirin with mescal and waits miserably for the headache and bleeding to stop. 
Again the banshee flies at him screeching. 
“¡Callate!” he yells, hurling the bottle at her. 
“Shut up shut up!” she mocks in English, dodging the projectile worm.  
He spots his machete and wonders suddenly if cockatoo tastes anything like chicken. 

I want everyone, especially animal lovers, namely bird lovers, chiefly cockatoo lovers, to understand this 55 is a cautionary tale. Yes, I meant it to be a little dark, twisted, and funny. However, as I explained in a previous post comparing birds and rabbits, too many people have stupid and ignorant ideas about what it means to adopt a companion exotic bird. Imagine the next fifty years of your life dealing every day with an ADHD two year old on a perpetual cocaine and gummy bears binge, demanding your constant attention and pitching screaming, screeching, eardrum rupturing fits. These creatures can drive you insane, as you see with our fictional "hero" above. Well, in his case, his gringo wife left him for another man and did not take the bird with her. The beast is an enigma.  They both are hurt and confused by the sudden departure of the woman from their lives. The bird is a constant reminder of his ex-wife, and he is a constant reminder of the cockatoos beloved mistress. Their shared misery should draw them closer together, but instead drives them both insane. Now I only have 55 words to tell this complicated tale of love, betrayal and madness! So, it is hoped that with those 55 words, the rest of the story will easily unwind in your head. This 55 flash fiction thing is HARD!!! I mean, gosh golly gee willikers! I write a 55 about a nutty woman poisoning her lover's new neighbor simply because she happens to be pretty and no one bats an eye. Write a 55 about a man taking a machete to a cockatoo and the interwebs would shit a cuckoo clock for sure. This postscript is the explanation to this 55.  Enjoy. Or not. But rest assured, no cockatoos, mescal worms, hussy gringo wives, or loco cuckolded Mexicans were harmed in the making of this this story.

Thanks, G-Man, for hosting!


  1. LOL Somehow it all works out, if only to a great 55.

  2. ha. i like is twisted and funny...and seems the bird has drove him to drinking and maybe a bit on the edge of sanity...

  3. Yeah...
    And sometimes those screaching little bastards out-live you.
    Brandi...You do great on these 55's, in fact YOU Rock
    Thanks for playing, thanks for your support, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

  4. That's a great 55! And without your explanation after I can think of several scenarios leading to this scene, and several ways it could go. Thanks for getting my thinking!

  5. Ah, I thought it was the aspirin and mescal causing the headaches and bleeding and the banshee cockatoo was random at first. Silly me. I'm a rancher's granddaughter. I see nothing wrong with eating the bird.

  6. what a great wicked sense of humour you have Brandi

  7. I used to keep budgies and loved them but, my aunt got a cockatoo and though she tried to teach it to talk, it wasn't tame and it would screech and scream in such a high pitch, it used to really hurt my ears and do nothing for the tinnitus. My teen tries to persuade me to get one because she thinks they're hilarious, I tell her, when you have your own place, you buy it, you train it, you can have
    I totally understand this... heck yeah. lol

  8. I love budgies. I love exotic birds and they seem to like me, too. I just feel that cockatoos are not a great pet. They want more attention than even one family can give. They need their flock of fellow birds that speak their dialect of cuckoo. Humans are just very poor substitutes.
    Thanks for visiting and commenting, everyone. FFF55 is FUN!! I love reading everyone's stories and poems!

  9. This is downright funny. Well done!

  10. This is the most brilliant thing that I've read all day!

  11. We have a couple of neighbors with cockatoos. We hear human and birds yelling at each other during the summer months.

    between you and me...

    Flash 55 - Wanted: Dead or Alive?

  12. You wrote a great story in 55 words! All that bleeding, chasing aspirin w/mescal had me worried at first. I, too, see nothing wrong with eating the bird. Farmers tend to be pretty practical about these matters. Have a great weekend!