Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Tax Exemption

"Here ya go", Father Ivan said, handing the church's Sams card to the young cashier.
"The alcohol is tax exempt, too?" She was doubtful.
"Definitely! It's all for the church. We have a refrigerator just for beer, wine, and vodka."
"How can you drink vodka at church?"
"Easy! Ice cold right out of the freezer!"

MMMMmmmmMMMMMM! My FAVORITE vodka! Right out of the freezer, it's sweet, smooth, and NEVER gives me a hangover!

My favorite wine. Not this brand, I haven't tried this brand, but it has a bunny on the label, so it must be THE BEST Riesling in the universe.  

Every Pascha (Easter for you Roman Catholics and protestants), we have a huge BBQ and tear it up after midnight Great Liturgy and PARTAY til the wee hours of the morning. We eat, laugh, joke, get a little tipsy, then go home when the sun rises.  One of our parishioners from Georgia (the country, not the state) walks around to everyone, gives them a big shot of Ouzo. Father Ralph's first question when he walks into the church hall is "Did someone remember to take the vodka out of the freezer?" And he also passes around shot glasses of Presidente' brandy and vodka. There is a sign up in the hall that says "Ralph's Bar".  There will be wine shared from everyone's baskets (also filled with butter, cheeses, eggs, smoked and cured meats, chocolate, etc, all the foods we Eastern Orthodox do not have during Great Lent).  

My favorite beer! 

St. Mary Dormition Orthodox Church

Jones, Oklahoma

While you all will be celebrating Easter this Sunday, our Great Lent continues til the beginning of May. We use the Old Calendar (Julian), while you use the New Calendar (Gregorian).

Every once in a while our Pascha and your Easter will fall on the same date, and it is a wonderful joyous time that we can all celebrate the Resurrection together. 

This episode of FFF 55 is sponsored by:

Beans and Rice - Forty days to a cleaner colon!

And

Tap Water - A Lenten staple for two thousand years!

Also brought to you by:

Tofu! Pretending to be meat and cheese and FAILING!

Along With:

THE G-Man

and of course, Readers Like You! 

MISS Myra Daffodil

HER name is Miss Myra Daffodil. Sometimes, I DO get it wrong. Mr. Hopson is not a Mister, but a new Bunny Sister for my warren of Lagomorph Overlords.
Yup, I managed to catch her and I can tell you there was some blood, sweat, and tears. Lots of tears. You have no idea. I am such a shithead. You have no idea. Anyway, I don't want to get into that.
But my Myra D. is a gorgeous baby girl. After she settled down (ugh, I think she had a minor seizure when I actually caught her) I put her on my bed and took a nail brush and got all the tufts of velvet that were coming off her ears, and I brushed her til she was glossy and she did enjoy it.
Honestly, I am ashamed of myself this evening. But she is inside. May God, Meany Girl, and Myra D. forgive me for being a dumbass, for being cruel, impatient, and for killing that poor earthworm. If I were a Buddhist, I would be a bit suicidal about now. I need an Ativan.
Pictures to follow...

Shamelessly Using Minnie For Bait

So as you all know, I am trying to capture Mr. Hopson. Now I know for sure several things:

1. He is lonely
2. He is a HE
3. He is the bunny equivalent of a douche bag.
4. And....according to Joshua, Mr. Hopson is a "chubby chaser"

Hopson and I are getting into a groove. I call him, and he knows his name by now. I tried to entice him with some cocoa puffs and then he ran under the house and into my backyard where I watched him sniff at the bunny blankets I have hanging up to air. He also chinned anything that would hold still. I went inside, grabbed  by Beautiful Baby Boy Jersey Woolly, and started to pluck him. Hair was flying all around, and that got Hopson very interested.  He picked up clumps of hair, chased them, chinned them, ran up to Fatty Boy, and did some crazy crazy binkies! That is how I knew he was lonely. He wanted to play with my boy so much. There was no aggression, no fighting, no stand-offs. They just sniffed at each other and Hopson binkied all over the place. 

I put Fatty away because he was getting cold and the dogs barking outside were making him nervous. They do not go outside EVER. I grab my Minnie Girl lop and WHAMMO! Oh boy, Hopson was super interested then! And she reacted, too, because her butt was sticking up in the air and she is aggressive, but playing coy for Mr. H. Remember, she is not spayed. Yet. 

And she was so sweet with me, she was scared being outside, even though I was holding her. I would put her down, and she would scramble back into my arms, my sweet precious girl. OK, so I shamelessly used her as bait. What sealed the deal on knowing Mr. H was a boy was when ran circles around Minnie and I when I told him to say goodnight and he flicked urine on us!! Oh, and Joshua says Mr. H. is a chubby chaser because all the males in my house call her Fatty Boom Boom, Biggun, Thickness...etc.... MAYBE, MAYBEEEEEEEE, she is a bit on the chunky side. I just thought she was bigger than Fatty Boy and Meany Girl because they are dwarf breeds. But she is much bigger than Mr. Hopson, too. Much bigger. 

I ALMOST caught him several times while he was sidling up to Minnie. But he is quick. There is so much fluff outside, it looks like a wildlife crime scene. 

He also acted like he was not interested when Minnie was behind the screen in the laundry room. He just sat on his scrawny ass and groomed himself KNOWING she was watching him! Fine, he can act all nonchalant.  I promise you, like anything with a penis and a sex drive, he cannot resist my pretty Minnie Girl for long! Then I will have him! HHAHAHAHAHHA then he will be NEUTERED!!! And he will be much happier for it...

I'll keep ya posted!

Bunneh Munneh!!! - In Bunnies We Trust!

Not all references to Rabbits during Eastertime are negative. Russell Stover has a cute collection of chocolate bars with bunny pictures on the wrappers which look like money. Today at work I bought the Dutch version. It is a one billion dollar note. Of course it is. What the heck else would it be?

My upper lip looks I am imitating a chimp! I had to snap the pic fast as a bunny on a date before Bug could grab the chocolate out of my mouth!

When these go on clearance after Easter, I am buying them all up!!! 

What would you buy with Bunny Munny? I have a feeling these notes are stronger than the U.S. dollar!

Mr. Hippity Hopson

A few weeks ago, I was paying special attention to my Minnie Girl's tail. I wanted to reach into the pen and goose it, but she was too far away and I couldn't reach. Her tail was on my mind when I got in the car and saw something shoot up my neighbor's driveway. It was moving very fast, and if I had not had a rabbit tail on my mind, I would have thought it was a cat. But this creature, that I only witnessed for a microsecond, had a rabbit tail. I got out of the car and walked up the drive, and there he was, a white and brown bunny rabbit, eating grass. I tried to catch him, but he would only let me come so close before he would hop a few hops away. I managed to see that he was very comfortable under my house. I have been leaving food and water out for him. He will ignore the hay and pellets, but devour the oats. Tonight I put a plate of warm organic pumpkin puree under the house for him. It is a cold night. I worry about him every waking moment.
I am thinking he is attracted to my house because of the overwhelming rabbit smells coming from it. He is not terrified of me, and in fact will let me come very close, then he will take a hop or two in the other direction and carry on with his grass nomming.  He did binky away from me this evening, the wascawy wabbit.
So, what I need is advice on how to trap him so I get him into the house to live the life of luxury to which he is entitled. I do not believe in coincidences and I know The Good Lord sent Mr. Hopson my way, at this time of year no less, to offer my services as loyal rabbit slave. Why kowtow over just three rabbits when I can grovel over four?
Oh, and how do I know Mr. Hopson is a Mister and not a Miss? I just do. I. Just. Do.

Been Super Wicked Busy

HI Rabbit Slaves!
I started a new job last week and have been super busy. Other than the FFF 55's, I have had nothing much to say about rabbits. Mine are lucky that their pen gets a good cleaning on occasion. But they love a nice filthy litter/hay box, the weirdos. But it does not stink so bad because I feed them Sherwood Forest Natural Rabbit Food, and that prevents the ammonia smell in their urine.
Today I am going to let Bruce talk about bunnies. Go and visit Bruce's Blog and get a chuckle and a little more insight into the temperament of companion rabbits.  He is owned by Mark and Deborah, and as is typical of girl rabbits, Deborah is a pistol with very set-in-stone opinions, and often Disapproves of Bruce.
Happy Reading!!!

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Separation Anxiety

"Why are you crying?" Asked her concerned coworker. "Is this new job too hard for you?"
The middle aged woman choked back her sobs and wiped the snot off her nose.
"I just miss being home with my baby girl." Her lips trembled.
"Oh dear! Is she still at the breast then?"
"She's my chihuahua!"

I started a new job yesterday. My separation anxiety from my Bug was strong. No, I did not cry, but I worried about my girlbaby, my 'tinkee princess, my schweeeety, the whole time. I have no idea how in the world I became a "chihuahua person". I HATED them with a white-hot passion. But here is our "daughter", and both my husband (who absolutely hated them, too) and I are pathetic parents to this two pound she-devil. Mr. Bubbles says we will both have to throw ourselves on her funeral pyre when she dies because the pain of that loss will be too great for the two of us. He might be right. 

I was feeling the misery of having had several miscarriages in a row, and my womb felt like an empty wasteland. I would see babies and get depressed. Then when Bug came into our lives, all of that changed. She satisfies all my mothering instincts. 

Thanks to G-Man for letting me share my pathetic anxieties! XOXOXOXO to you, Darlin'!