Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Three Bears

The old grizzly's canines stood sentry in his gaping, frothing maw.
A younger version of himself was trying to assert dominance, swiping dagger claws through the air.
One, experienced and savage.
The other, quicker with something to prove.
Impatient, the female growls her warning at the father and son facing-off over the last BBQ rib.

Today's 55 is inspired by the following Little Johnny Joke:

Little Johnny's teacher was holding up a picture of a cat.

"Can anyone tell me what this animal is?" She asked.

Little Johnny, way in the back of the class, held up his hand and waved it frantically.

"Oh, oh, Teacher! I know, I know!"

The teacher thought to herself that she could not call on Little Johnny because he was just going to say something dirty.

The next picture she held up was of a snake.

"Can anyone tell me what kind of animal this is?" She asked again.

In the back of the room, Little Johnny held his hand up, waving it frantically.

"Oh, I know, I know, Teacher, I know!" He said excitedly.

Teacher thought again that it was a bad idea to call on Little Johnny, he was just going to say something nasty.

The third picture was of a bear.

"Can anyone tell me what kind of animal we see here?"

Little Johnny was very quiet in the back of the class.

Well, thought Teacher, maybe this time it would not hurt to call on Little Johnny.

"Little Johnny, do you not know what kind of animal this is?"

"No, Teacher, I don't know what it is."

"OK, I will give you a hint. When your dad comes home, he is as hungry as a........"

"MOTHERFUCKER! Look, a real motherfucker!"

Thank you, G-Man, for being  a bodacious gracious host! XOXOXOXOX

Fourteen Years And I haven't Killed Him...Yet!

Joshua Kevin, my number two son, my youngest, is fourteen years old today.  He has perfected the fine art of SUBTLE Smartassery. 

For supper we will have BBQ ribs, baked potato casserole, baked beans, and I am also making brownies, his favorite. 

We will have a proper party for him in a few weeks, probably together with his brother's birthday. He is going to see Volbeat with Mr. Bubbles next week, the ticket is a birthday gift from his G-Ma. 

I cried when he turned 13. I am OK this year. LOLZ.

Josh and Simon a few summers ago

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - La Cocina De Mi Madre

"This's the fourth time this week you've eaten dinner at your mother's house! I keep making you dinner!"

He removed his t-shirt, stained with chile Las Palmas and cheese, wisely saying nothing to his angry young wife.

Across town, his mama' smiled in smug victory, blessing her daughter-in-law's inability to cook Mexican food.

Burritos de chili colorado, con frijoles y arroz rojo (this is what we had for dinner tonight, but this picture is courtesy of google images....)

Viva chile Las Palmas!

I LOVE ANY brand of Mexican beer, with lots of salt and lime, and occasionally a shot of Cuervo Gold. 

Today's 55 is inspired by my son Steven and his girlfriend of five years, Kelsey. I made a comment to him once before he started dating her that he would "probably marry a white girl and piss her off frequently by coming home to eat my cooking, so get in this kitchen and learn how to cook Mexican food". I must be part gypsy fortune-teller, because sure enough, Kelsey can barely boil water, much less make something like carnitas, tamales, chilaquiles, etc... And this makes me... ECSTATIC!  This means he WILL come home often after they are married, if only for my cooking (he only knows a few basic recipes)! As a Hispanic female, I dread my boys leaving me and going off into the world, eating some OTHER WOMAN'S COOKING...!!!!

Here is a great recipe for Burritos de Chile Colorado.  I think she is a gringo, but that is OK. I am not a racist!! I just want my baby boys to love me more than their wives. Or at least my cooking more, anyway!!!

Muchos Gracias, mi hombre' de 55, G-Man! XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!

Rabbits In Film - Seven Psychopaths

Excerpts from an interview with Martin McDonagh, about his film Seven Psychopaths:

"I'm a vegetarian and I love animals," he adds, noting that bunnies also figure into his movie's wild tale. "They're cute. I want a rabbit in every room I go into, and every film."

"It was funny, because it was like a company of actors I knew and was friendly with before," says McDonagh. "Tom Waits, I'd almost done something with, as well, so I sent him an e-mail. He said yes, 'There's rabbits? I get to carry a gun?' "

"That's a huge testament to how much he respects the work of yours that he knew," says Farrell.

"Or his love of rabbits," laughs McDonagh

Read the full article HERE

Tom Waits loves his white bunnies. Every good Mad-As-A-March-Hare psychopathic killer should have a bunny to snuggle!

This is a great film. Funny, crazy, and cute. 

You're Damned Skippy!!!!

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Pull The Plug

"So...where do I sign?"
"What do you mean, Ma'am?"
"You know, the paperwork to 'pull the plug'." She rolled her eyes. DUH...
The nurse blinked rapidly, dumbfounded.
"Your brother was only here for a routine colonoscopy", she explained, "He is ready to go home now".
"To his heavenly reward! Now, where do I sign?"

Thanks to The G-man for hosting our fun-time-Friday 55's!!! XOXOXO

Happy Stupid Cupid Day!

I think today is a dumb day. Not because I do not appreciate St. Valentine Himself, but because it has become something...stupid. But I got pancakes out of it this morning...

Haven't posted any Bug and Spider pics lately, so here they are, my evil "twins". They love each other to pieces. 

My Bug and her cat, Spider. Excuse my messy room. Thems my babies! 

She is my pretty pretty princess! You can see the damage on her side there where the damned vet gave her a shot almost a year ago and bruised her up badly. 

She's so stinky! Stinky dog smell and bad breath! I LOVE when she yawns in my face. I love her stinkiness. Hers is my 'tinkee!!!

My handsome Spider.

My sweepy 'tinkee baby girl. She loves her blankees. 

Wrapped up in Mr. Bubbles's hoodie. She has him well trained to obey her commands. 

Root Veggie Tops for Bunnies

Made a nice light but hearty root vegetable soup with dumplings in chicken broth today. Of course I shared my veggies with the bunnies. 

The bunns got the leafy tops and the tender baby celery stalks.

See the bottom of this bunch of celery, it is staring to shoot roots.

These carrots and turnips are shooting green tops. You can propagate them by putting them in shallow water. I am not doing this for the veggies, but I am doing it for the tops, the leafy greens that will shoot out of them in a few weeks. They will be tender, lush, and rabbit ready. You can do the same for green onions, or anything, really, that is shooting roots or tops. 

BUT...my luck is not so great with green things. I somehow managed to kill this little cactus. I am hoping it is just dormant and will grow green again. HUMmmmmmm......Maybe the bunnies and Mother of God can talk this poor thing back to life...LAZARUS! RISE!

My poor sad little aloe plant. It is still hanging in there after all these years. It is quite a miracle. It used to be big and lush and gorgeous. 

I have a black thumb.....

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Violent Eruptions

The low rumble sent tremors throughout the land.
Something big was about to happen, and the animals could sense it acutely.
It was quietest the microsecond before the world erupted into toxic chaos, the air filling with noxious gasses and sulfur.
"Mom!"
Vomit covered the bed, the floor, the dog, and a feverish small child.

Thank you, G-Man, for being a most rockin' host!!! XOXOXOXOXO No X's and O's today, Luv. This shit is contagious by suggestion!!

Twenty Years and I Haven't Killed Him...Yet

Yesterday was my 20th wedding anniversary. We got married on a Wednesday evening at church service. No one was supposed to know, but somehow between Monday's blood test, and Tuesday at the courthouse getting the license, everyone found out and showed up.  It was not a big wedding at all and had zero planning. I was eight months pregnant, BTW. We tried to tell ourselves and everyone else that we did not get married because of the baby, but looking back it, we know better.  However, he was 20, I was 18, and let's face it, there is NO SUCH animal as true love at those ages. It took a long time for us to grow up. We almost called it quits several times early on.  Between being so young, taking on grownup responsibilities so soon, and Army life, we just screwed a lot of things up. Honestly, I don't think true, strong love happened for us till about 16 years or so into this marriage. People are retarded, and we do not bond the precious, perfect way that animals do, such as swans, eagles, RABBITS.  We have to fall on our faces and our asses a few times before we get it.
SO...two wonderful boys, several miscarriages, thinner, fatter, sicker, healthier, sad, happy, murderous and joyful, a couple of dogs, a few cats, three rabbits and one spoiled rotten chihuahua later, we have  gotten to the point where we like each other's in-laws, finish each other's sentences, know exactly how the other one feels and thinks, and I always know what he wants for dinner, even if I don't make it. It is a little creepy.
I have called him ten thousand foul names in 20+ years, but you know, he has never called me a bitch. Not once.

Sweet Lord, were we really this young? He is 21 and I am 19 here.