Thursday, June 6, 2013

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Red State Problems: Bullets in the Laundry

She tossed something onto the bed.
"Will you please check your pockets before you do laundry. I'm tired of finding shotgun shells in the washer."
"Damn. These're wet. You know how expensive ammo is these days?"
"Not as expensive as a new washing machine will be!"
"Does dad got any shells?"
"His got washed, too."



As always, thanks to the ass-kicking-est host from Blue State East Coast to Blue State West Coast, and all the Gun Totin'est, God fearin'est, Pinko-Commie hatin'est, Old Glory Wavin'est, Heartland of America Red States in between....G-MAN!



40 comments:

  1. ha...nothing like live ammunition rolling around in the wash...much less the drier...could def make for a really red state...ha

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  2. Ammunition in the wash...a scary thought.

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  3. Brandiwine...
    Shells are quite pricey these days, I see your point.
    Pics were great
    I just love it when you play
    Loved your shell shocked 55
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week End

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  4. Ha ha. My kid just said "First world problems" to me the other day, so I get this! Love it!

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  5. hahaha love this Brandi,Nick moans about how pricey shells are too!

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  6. Brandi, you know you check every single pocket twice before you put your menfolks stuff in the washer. If they really wash loads of clothes themselves...well, if they do that...I'm just going to have to say you really live in New York City.

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  7. Ok, no longer so concerned about the pens, lip balms, nails, and assorted tools that go through my wash...Good one, Brandi!

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  8. I haven't gotten shells in the wash, but a few always roll out of the truck when I climb in.

    Flash 55 - Revenge by Chance

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  9. This is great! funny! thanks-

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  10. Hahaha - there he goes shooting off his mouth... :o)

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  11. Oh, thanks everybunny. 55's have to come naturally to me, out of my own day to day moments. I don't always have moments to write about. My life is nice and dull, and I LOVE it that way! Excitement is overrated.

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  12. But you have a great imagination doubled with a great whit,xx Rachel

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  13. Rachel is right, Brandi. How did the experimenting with making soap go? Any FFF material? I am only asking if there is any material in a good way, not in the way there would be if I were trying it. Hope all is looking a little brighter up your way. Juana

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    1. I think I need to tweak the formula a pinch. But otherwise, it works pretty darn good. Now I need to try using vinegar as a fabric softener. I hear it works, but we shall see. I keep forgetting to add to the rinse cycle.
      I would try homemade dish soap, but I LOVE the smell of the Ajax with lime. I think lime is one of my favorite smells. And lemon, and orange, and grapefruit...let's just say all citrus. Maybe not all together, but individually, I love the smell of citrus fruit.
      Juana, it is sure getting hot and muggy up the Chisolm Trail. How is the weather in Austin?

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    2. And we would like to thank our neighbour in Oklahoma for presenting our weather forecast for today. Yes, Folks, you will not be able to tell weather you are in Oklahoma or Texas today. I love the idea of your making soap and doing all these great things. Last night, I was listening to a lecture on Internet Archive in which the lecturer said we are still that Paleolithic person. It pleases me to think, we still want to do these basic things for the clan. Citrus is definitely the best. Once my mother made lye soap for us when we were children. You wash your hair with it and then rinse it with vinegar. She said it left your hair so soft. She really grew up in a farming community. I didn't know about it softening clothes. Keep doing cool stuff. Cool stuff does not (usually) include snatching well placed and beloved family pets. I hope this can be the last time we bring up the weather for a long time. Your friend, Juana

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  14. *Sigh*back to wet and windy here,yuk!xx Rachel
    P.S.I sometimes I make solid bubble bath bars

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  15. You all are just amazing. Are you sure you don't mind me playing, too? I can't really do anything, but you all are inspiring me to try to do some new things. I am learning so much from both of you. Brandi, I am always afraid that we fail to think about the horrible consequences of disasters for all that lives. Thank you for reminding us. I am intensely, that sounds a little mild so I will repeat it, intensely pained at the treatment of horses here in Texas. I have to confess that it was a long time before I became aware of what horse racing meant.

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    1. One would think that in Texas and Oklahoma, horses would be a sacred creature.

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    2. Yes, one would think that. I have two theories. The inhabitants of at least Texas are feral people or invaders from outer space. Any other ideas?

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    3. I think mankind is arrogant, and in their arrogant assumptions, they assume that all creatures are theirs to do with as they please. That is what makes rabbit people so special to me. If a rabbit, the ultimate in game/prey animals, can be loved and cherished and protected so fiercely, then there is still hope that a spark of decency and godliness exists in the world, that arrogance has not won out completely. I think vegans and vegetarians get that idea as well, although their expression of it is a bit arrogant.
      Hey, there is a theme here. Arrogance, and a flippant disregard for precious sweet life.
      We are stewards of the land and it's creatures. And I know we will all answer for how we treated those that cannot defend themselves politically.
      Pride is truly the deadliest sin.

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  16. I keep re-reading this, Brandi, and it is worth it every time. Thank you, Juana

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  17. Happy Fathers' Day to the nice man who we share you with. Have a really good day!

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  18. Brandi, I hope all is going well in OK-land. It is so hot and humid here that to walk outside is to get a heat stroke. How can it be so humid with no rain? I hope you and yours got to enjoy that beautiful moon. Peace, love, blessings, Juana

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    1. that moon was something else. It is not too humid here, but hot. Or maybe I am just used to the humidity. You are close enough to the gulf that all that swamp humidity just creeps up your way. I think I would like to live in Montana for the summer. Or we could head up to Washington state and claim squatters rights at HOR. RG would not mind a bit.

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  19. Not a bit! Actually, I have an old friend in Montana who might be able to put you up. Think about it. She owes me and you all might really hit it off. You know the last time I talked to her and it was this spring, I think she said it was really dry. I don't remember hot, but then again, I tend to not take other people's hot too seriously. Nothing else can feel the way I was feeling today - just terrible. Tomorrow I am going to feed bunnies bananas, listen to all their problems after they are too tired to run around anymore in the big runs we can set up. This will be an indoor activity. I need some bunny time. Hope all goes well. J

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  20. Nothing quite like scaring the pants off RG, is there?

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  21. Brandi, I am sorry I said I didn't take other people's definition of "hot" seriously. I didn't realize how hot it really is all over the west, northwest. Can you believe it?

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    1. Yeah, but how often does that happen and they are getting a taste of our medicine. Can't sympathize too much. Now when they start getting killer F5 tornadoes, well, I will definitely feel for them.
      I will say a prayer of course. No baby, or bunny or dog or cat or elderly person should suffer the heat in a place where most people do not even have air conditioners because they always enjoy gentle weather.

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  22. Yes, that is the huge concern. The old and young of all life forms don't seem to be very good at regulating body temperature. I really wonder if people who have not or do not experience our kind of hot weather on a regular basis understand how dangerous it is. I find myself compulsively telling out-of-staters to drink water. This weather is really dangerous. My experience with heat stress last year continues to affect me. I really feel so much more sensitive to the heat. Am I crazy? I just fed you a great line, Brandi. Don't let it go to waste. The weather reporters said Camp Mabry, the reporting station closest to us, hit an all time record today, and they were telling people to leave plenty of fresh water out for their outside dogs. When you have to remind Texans to do that, it is scary (to me anyway). Cool one, stay cool, Juana

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  23. Once again, I have to ask if you can believe the weather? We are loving the cool, but where is the rain? Be nice to Hubby. The all "make eyes" when we buy anything. I keep telling myself, penance comes in many forms and, after all, he is my favorite. Keep the faith, Juana

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    1. Oh, I roll my eyes plenty at him, so it evens out nicely.
      Texas ALWAYS needs rain. So does Oklahoma for that matter. Seems all we ever do is pray for rain.

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  24. Phew that is a grand 55! thanks.

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  25. Hi Auntie Brandi,when you have a minute please can you pop over I have an award for you,xx SPeedy

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  26. Brandi, we got almost 10 minutes of rain yesterday. What's cooking up your way? Besides everything, I guess. I apologize for the phrasing of that question. It just sort of slipped out.

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    1. No rain here, but I see Mother Nature is trying to "Great Flood" Toronto off the map.
      Ten minutes, eh... a tease of moisture.
      If you think about it, and pay attention to the promo isles at stores like WalMart, school is getting ready to get back into session. It will be autumn before we can say "cold and flu season" and with it will come the sweet relief of cold winds and grey skies.

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  27. I want some wind blowing in my face. I want it to make my hair ripple. We promise our prayers for the people of Toronto, but how could 4" do that? Do you know what 4" would do here? Nada, nada. Brandi, I really did love your poem on HOR. You may not have meant it to be too serious, but somewhere among the words that made us smile was something wild and beautiful. Juana

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  28. Brandi, we will definitely have to fuss at Rachel after she and Speedy have recovered. It scared me to death, too. How is Ms. Meany Girl? Does she need an Auntie, too? I have skills, you know! Be well, Juana

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    1. Well, I got her quarantined in a carrier with a super absorbent cloth inside a super soft pillow case. She is being fed pumpkin and critical care via syringe and syringe water every three hours or so. She has a bowl with hay and pellets and oats, in case she decides to eat for herself. Her poops are not poops, more like a slurry of shit that smells like cecals. She will be under quarantine and syringe fed every three to five hours and syringed water until I see nice solid poop. I should have seen this coming days ago. I only noticed it this morning when I saw some of the tiniest little rocks of poops I have EVER seen her put out. I thought she might have a bit of wool block, but now I think she has dysbiotic gut flora. What a nightmare. But as long as I am forcing water and mushy food and monitoring her close, keeping her still and warm and cozy, I think she will pull through. Her tummy sounded like a bubbly water cooler this morning, all gurgly and LOUD. THen when she pooped, it was watery.
      I got her on pain meds, and she sucks that down like her life depends on it. I know it tastes horrible, but she is such a junkie. She just had her feeding/watering and is now grooming the pumpkin mess off herself, and probably my kisses and snuggles, too. lol.
      But this morning, she laid out on my arm and I held her little ears to keep them warm, while allowing the fan to cool her body. I manipulated her legs and tail and tummy and played the "rabbit accordion" with her legs and tummy and she was so relaxed and pliant. And stoned. lol.
      Pray for my girl. She is meaner than cat poop, but I love the stuffing out of her and I wish her stuffing would firm up and be normal again. We have been through this before, only with wool block, and I have a feeling her and I are fated to do this rodeo for the rest of her life.
      I should be more cautious!

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  29. You are the best, Brandi. Hail Mary full of grace. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners and for those who do not sin, especially Meany and all bunnies, now, in the hour of their need, and at the hour of their death. Queen of Angels, come to Meany's aid. Queen of heaven and earth, come to Meany's aid. Oh, thou to whom the Angel Gabriel brought the glorious and holy glad tidings, intercede for Meany. Spouse of the Holy Spirit, intercede for Meany. Mother, given to us all at the foot of the cross, intercede for Meany. As we meditate on the sacred and imperishable proclamation of eternal salvation given by our Lord Jesus Christ, we ask also of him his unfailing mercy and blessing on Meany and all the livingness of this world. Love is the glory of God and let his favor rest on the loving heart of Brandi now as she nurses Meany and always. Amen

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