Thursday, February 28, 2013

Friday Flash Fiction 55 - Three Bears

The old grizzly's canines stood sentry in his gaping, frothing maw.
A younger version of himself was trying to assert dominance, swiping dagger claws through the air.
One, experienced and savage.
The other, quicker with something to prove.
Impatient, the female growls her warning at the father and son facing-off over the last BBQ rib.

Today's 55 is inspired by the following Little Johnny Joke:

Little Johnny's teacher was holding up a picture of a cat.
"Can anyone tell me what this animal is?" She asked.
Little Johnny, way in the back of the class, held up his hand and waved it frantically.
"Oh, oh, Teacher! I know, I know!"
The teacher thought to herself that she could not call on Little Johnny because he was just going to say something dirty.
The next picture she held up was of a snake.
"Can anyone tell me what kind of animal this is?" She asked again.
In the back of the room, Little Johnny held his hand up, waving it frantically.
"Oh, I know, I know, Teacher, I know!" He said excitedly.
Teacher thought again that it was a bad idea to call on Little Johnny, he was just going to say something nasty.
The third picture was of a bear.
"Can anyone tell me what kind of animal we see here?"
Little Johnny was very quiet in the back of the class.
Well, thought Teacher, maybe this time it would not hurt to call on Little Johnny.
"Little Johnny, do you not know what kind of animal this is?"
"No, Teacher, I don't know what it is."
"OK, I will give you a hint. When your dad comes home, he is as hungry as a........"
"MOTHERFUCKER! Look, a real motherfucker!"

Thank you, G-Man, for being  a bodacious gracious host! XOXOXOXOX


  1. That's what I am!!! Even when I'm not hungry!!! Loved this.

  2. Kids REALLY spill the beans as to what really goes on in the home. My daughter once came home and told me she had learned the F-word in school. Thank goodness it was "FROG".

    1. I learned the fine art of obscenity in Catholic School.

  3. lol! Trust Johnny to tell it like it is!

    1. Little Johnny jokes are the best

  4. Bunny Girl...Funny Girl...Sunny Girl!
    You always brighten up the day!
    I've had Dozens of 55's inspired by jokes!
    Great job Brandi
    Loved your Jocular 55
    Thanks for playing, thanks for showing support to others, and
    Have a Kick Ass Week End

  5. Replies
    1. Sent a package out to Speedy today! I was cheap about it, so the post office lady said it might take up to two weeks!

  6. Kind of reminds me of my family growing up. We were a real meat and potatoes bunch. My father and brother could eat like hogs and never get fat. All I had to do was look at food and it stuck to me.

    1. Men are lucky that way! My husband only had to quite drinking regular cokes and lost twenty pounds in a snap.

  7. Who threw a BBQ rib into the mix? THAT is the question!
    Really enjoyed the frothy, snarly show-offs!

    1. We had ribs the other night for my youngest son's birthday.

  8. Too funny, Brandi! Between this, and your Bunda Rondstadt album over at DR, you've really brightened my day.

    1. Tell Jensen he can find that album on, he can also order Bunn Zeppelin, Bunn Floyd, Three Rabbit Night, Dutch Sabbath

  9. LOL! I like your version better than the original joke. Such a guy thing.

    1. At least they are good for reaching high shelves, killing spiders, mowing the grass and opening jars, eh!

  10. I am laughing! I loved your 55 built around that hilarious joke (must share it with my husband this weekend :)

  11. Cruel and unusual punishment to not have enough BBQ ribs.

  12. Really funny! I love your version :D Brightened up my day as well!

    By the way, I would also like to ask you about a site which enables writers to build up a fanbase and market their books online,

    You see, I help out on there and we've just launched a "reading widget" (a tool which allows you to embed a story on your website in a very compact form) which is aimed at bloggers who love short stories. Since you like both and because you seem like a nice person, I was hoping I could ask you to check it out and let me know what you think of it? Here's a link to our Blogspot where you can see a demonstration of how to do so. For the site page, it’s here.

    At the moment we're still looking for feedback on how easy it is to use the feature, and how useful you think it would be, so if you are able to test it out on your blog I would be eternally grateful. Please do get in touch.

    All the best,